Exhaustion

I have been contemplating for a few days now what in the world to write on here and still haven't really come up with much "new" to say. I can tell you this, I am exhausted! I have been trying to figure it out for months now and I think it is a combination of being a new mommy and turning 30. It is not work related, at least not most of it, because I enjoy the craziness of work and actually look forward to Mondays now (is that terrible to say). I used to dread Mondays, now they seem to be one of my most productive days. I think it is because I have been home for a few days and my schedule gets out of whack and I can control what goes on at work and right now I can't at home. I also think my tiredness comes from turning 30 a couple of months ago, my body doesn't seem to recover anymore like it used too, and my knees and back hurt all the time, especially after sitting in the floor for long periods of time. I am sure being "over-weight" doesn't help matters either, but that is an entirely different blog and I am sure one that will be coming very soon! I know all of you in my family are probably laughing at this and thinking if she only knew!

So, the point of this entry is that last week I had a holiday, time off to celebrate Veteran's Day. This came in the middle of the week, on Wednesday. I was so super excited about it and loved the thought of a whole day at home with Hayden during the middle of the week. I came home on Tuesday and Brian and I talked and watched tv and had dinner. I cleaned up a little bit and played with Hayden in the floor and kept telling her how happy I was to be able to spend the next day with her - we would have the whole day together :). Well, that night I put her to sleep at her normal bedtime, around 9:00 and she woke herself up at 10:00. No big deal I thought, I went in picked her up and rocked her for awhile. She was asleep, but I kept holding her and rocking her thinking how much I loved this and how quickly time would pass and she would be a little toddler running all over the place. I was trying to memorize every detail of that exact moment so I could remember it again in the years to come. She was sleeping peacefully in my arms and she had one hand on my hand and the other up near my face. I was loving it! So I put her back down and then she woke up again at 11:00 - same thing all over again. Then again at midnight, then again at 1:00 a.m., then again at 2:30 a.m., at this point I must have been so exhausted that I turned the monitor off in our room and fell back asleep. I am not sure how long she cried, but apparently she cried herself back to sleep because when Brian woke up the next morning, he woke me up and wanted to know why the monitor was off! Are you kidding?!? Did you not hear her crying last night?! Oh well, she slept until 9:15 a.m. and so did I - so much for my fun day off. It ended up being a great day anyway, but I was pretty tired.

Next time I don't think I will tell Hayden I have a day off and maybe she won't know to wake me up all night. I can picture the little wheels in her head spinning right before she drifts off to sleep, "don't forget Mommy has the day off tomorrow, be sure to wake up really, really early so we can spend the whole day together, don't forget, don't forget..."