Happy 1st Birthday Hayden!

I can hardly believe it has been one year since Hayden entered our world. She has taught us so much about life and love. I had always heard of a mother's love, but you just don't get it fully until you have a child of your own - it is amazing! I never knew how much you could love another person, let alone one you just met moments prior, but that is the feeling I got the very first time I laid eyes on my sweet Hayden.

Here are bits and pieces of a letter that I wrote to Hayden when she was just a few weeks old. This is a letter that I will give to her when she is older, as you will see, it will make much more sense to her when she is an adult or at least maybe when she graduates High School. I honestly would not have thought to write this letter, but there was a spot in the back of her baby book that holds a "letter from mom" and a "letter from dad", so late one night, I took the liberty to write down some of my thoughts.

My dear sweet Hayden. Words can not describe the love I feel for you. The moment I found out I was pregnant with you I promised you that I would do whatever it took to protect you, honor you, and love you.

As I sit here now, watching you sleep, listening to your tiny little breaths I can't help but wonder what the future holds for you. This world that you live in, the one your Father and I brought you into, is a scary place. Things have changed so much from the childhood I had. I only hope you will find your place in it and thrive.

Things will not always make sense in your life, but always know that God has a plan for you and your future. As I was reading today I found a prayer that I will pray over you for years to come and I hope one day you will find comfort in these words, "God, please now my future see, make it clear where I should be. Open windows, close the doors, not my will, my God, but Yours."...

Family is so important and special. The family that God has placed you in is one of pure love and joy. Cherish all these moments growing up surrounded by your (possible future sibilings), Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, because I promise you this, these days will pass by so quickly and before you know it, you will be starting a family of your own. It will be at that time that you will look back at the wonderful memories of your childhood and wonder where the time went, vanishing so quickly...

I am trying desperately to memorize the way your face looks right now, trying to take as many photographs of you to document this time in your life, not just for me, but for so you can see them one day as well...

I do want you to know you can do anything your heart desires, you have the future before you. God has given you special talents, talents that you may not even know yet, but He has a purpose for your life, one I hope you will find joy in. I have many dreams and hopes for you and your future, but this future is yours not mine, so always do what makes you happy, not just to please anyone else...

If I could make one suggestion it would be to read and travel, to learn as much as you can about this world that God created.

I grew up in a small town, but my heart had bigger dreams. I spent my childhood reading and dreaming of bigger places and as soon as I was able to start going I did. I hope one day I can show you the world!

Many parts were left out, reserved only for Hayden, but I did want to share part of my heart with you.

Here are a few pictures from the last 365 days...



















Happy 1st Birthday - we haved loved you every single moment for 365 days!!!